So here’s an update on this neglected blog of mine: last month, I had a baby. My daughter — Emilia — is healthy, super chill, and incredibly beautiful. I haven’t posted here since January; I’m happy to say I had the most positive, pleasant, and active pregnancy. Maintaining my workout routine was really important to me, and doing power vinyasa yoga almost daily to my 38th week kept me mentally and physically healthy, happy, and sane.
I looked forward to labor and the experience of childbirth, but unexpectedly, I ended up scheduling a cesarean birth, as she was breech for over a month and, despite the things I tried to get her to flip around — acupuncture, chiropractic care, moxibustion, headstands at the pool, breech tilt exercises, hypnotherapy, and an unsuccessful ECV (external cephalic version) — she didn’t budge. While it was not the birth experience I’d originally envisioned, I was totally at peace with everything in the end. Ultimately, I just wanted her to be safe and healthy — it really didn’t matter how she got here.
Five weeks later, I’m recovering well and making more trips out of the house — even if it’s simply taking a walk around the garden — and Nick and I are slowly adjusting to our new roles as mother and father. It’s been weird, challenging, and life-changing: new parts of me have emerged, while others are no more. I’m grateful for this gorgeous little human, but also find myself mourning the life I had. I’m off from work until the end of the year to adjust and focus on her, myself, and to settle into this next chapter of life. I’m not sure what the next months (and years) will bring, but I already sense a shift in my priorities and goals.
Surprisingly, I’ve also felt more of an urge to write, in small bursts and Instagram captions typed out in the middle of the night after a 3am feed — but that’s much more than I’ve expressed as of late. So, perhaps that’s a sign of more musings to come.
Follow me on Instagram @cherilucasrowlands.